Ist Deutschland Unser Seues Haus?

I'm sitting here at the bucks with Aaron dreaming and planning our 2 week missions trip at the end of August and our potential move to Germany to follow! I know that due to the lack of updation here that this may seem like it is coming way outta left field. It kinda is, seeing as how up until about 4 weeks ago this was not even on our radar. But that being said we are trusting the Lord that this is His will for us. A little about how we go to this point, where we are headed, and what we are getting into.
It all started with an email to Aaron's (now former!!!) school from a pastor in Kiaserslautern. They have a need for a couple to start up their high school ministry. They have in the past had volunteers but due to the nature of being a military church every few years those who are leading get stationed else where. So they are looking for something more stable; we are hoping to be that something. 
There are many little connections we can see God making between us and them, our hearts and hopes and what they feel God has planned for their flock and the future of their ministry.
The questions we consistently are asked, "Where are you going to live, how will you pay for this, where will you work?" These questions and those of the same elk are nothing new to us, they're the same questions people asked before we moved up here. Our answer is the same as it was 2 years ago, "I don't know... but I know that if God is in this then He will work it all out for us." I know this answer doesn't satisfy most people because they are looking for something more concrete but it's the most honest answer we could give. God has taught us in these 2 years to trust Him and to have a humbled spirit before Him in all matters including our well being. Psalm 131 puts into words the result of this process for me.

"1 LORD, my heart is not haughty, Nor my eyes lofty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters, Nor with things too profound for me. 2 Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, Like a weaned child with his mother; Like a weaned child is my soul within me. 3 O Israel, hope in the LORD From this time forth and forever."

I am like a weaned child, more mature yet still dependent on Him for life. Please pray for us in this time of preparation. We are giving this up to God with our whole hearts ready to do His will. We know that He is faithful to supply our every need, and He is also faithful to close doors to opportunities that are not what He has for us. I'll leave you with this scripture which is reflective of our hearts.

"17 Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls--18 Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation."    Habakkuk 3:17-18

He is our joy and the one we seek to please.

God bless,
Brr

moving?

Some days it feels like we have lived in this apartment forever. All the newness has worn off and when we talk about home this is the place we think of.

The other day I was cleaning in the cupboards and I caught a wiff of what the apartment smelled like when we first moved in. It's not a bad smell, it is just unfamiliar to our home now. One on the strongest links to memories is scent and this one brought me back to when we had a dinning room table but no chairs, we were surrounded by boxes and boxes of our stuff and we had yet to buy a refrigerator so we were keeping our food in a cheap 7-11 foam cooler. I started thinking about what it was like trying to figure out where to buy the groceries, how to get to... well any where really, and how God has always provided for our every need and more. It has been very cool living here being able to see God work in our lives and all the people we have been able to share our stories with.

We are on the cusp of yet another adventure. This friday we have an interview for an apartment management position for a complex in the next city over. We are not entirely sure what this will mean for our lives, but we are confident that if this is where the Lord wants us He will iron out the details for us.
It seems like every few months and opportunity for a big change pops up and we throw our line out there to see if the Lord may be in this. Sometimes it is in the form of a job and other times it is in the form of a ministry. Some times it comes back and the Lord is telling us to step forward in faith and see Him work greatly, and other times the answer is no and to be patient for His perfect timing. We are excited every time to see how God is piecing together our story.  And we are often challenged to lay our lives on the alter as a living sacrifice. Even when the answer is no, not now or even not ever,we are reminded of who is in control and to whom we have dedicated this marriage to.  So who knows maybe in a few weeks we will be moving to an new apartment complex with new responsibilities and a whole new batch of crazy stories, or maybe we are staying here for the time being, looking to God in the same way for our our daily bread. At least here, we already know which neighbors are the crazy ones.

We love you guys and we pray for you constantly :)

for mama san

 I suppose after nagging you to death to post I should do like wise ehh?
I have been thinking a lot about the calvary way of church. It's sad, before I went to bible college I really thought that it was so boring to put so much focus on the word. I really had no idea what I was missing out on. Being a part of a church who's purpose is to create the best feed sheep by immersion in the word has helped me to grow greatly. Aaron and I were talking the other day about what our passion in ministry is. For us we really desire people to know the truth. It is heartbreaking to see people wreaking their lives because they are believing a lie. Often I see that when there is not careful study of the Word people are easily be mislead or they lose hope because they don't know how awesome our God is. I want people to know that. I want people to understand how much they are loved. Not how much they could be loved if they straightened up or if they have read through the bible, but how much He loves them just as they are. I want them to know the truth about their creator and I want them to know what it means to be cherished. I want them to know Him, because He knows them to their very core. A level many of us rarely, if ever, let others see.  But many miss it. Even those who are in church regularly and know how to assimilate into christian culture miss out on the true joy and blessing of digging into God's Word and hearing directly from Him. Our God is an awesome God but so many of us are missing out because we have become lukewarm.
I wish I had time to share more of my heart on this but I'm off to 2nd job. Know that I love and I miss you mama san. And for all my ladies out there know that I miss you too. I miss our heartfelt chats and brain vomits sessions and you are in my prayers.
-brr out

Isn't He wonderful?

Starting today I don't have work for the next 3 days at either job! I slept in until 5 and then made the love bug some coffee. We did our devos and chatted as he got ready for school. I've already done 3 loads of laundry, made the bed, and played with the cat, and I am currently decorating the house for Valentines day! It's days like today when I think man being a stay at home wife would be so much fun! But that is not my role at this current time and that's ok. Being able to enjoy these day when the Lord blesses me is enough to keep me going through the drudge of being a working stiff.
Today's devo was about the Proven Word, the passage is Ezra 8:22, the gist is that if we are claiming our God is faithful and can be trusted with provision then we must live accordingly. Thus giving a good witness to those around us. Which is not only for the glory of God, being able to see His hand work in our lives, but to encourage those around us that in their time of need they too can trust in the Lord God Almighty to see them through as well. I am loving this current place in my walk with the Lord; learning more and more how the things He shows me and blesses me with are not for me, but for others' blessing also. It is so wonderful how He has created it all to be woven together with other believers, and those who have yet to believe. I'm having a marvel at God day  :)

I continue to meditate here

Psalm 20 has been a comfort to my heart. I'm trying to find words to describe just how encouraging Psalms are to me but nothing I know expresses it quite right. I'll let the Word speak for its self.

Psalm 20

"May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble; May the name of the God of Jacob defend you; May He send you help from the sanctuary; And strengthen you out of Zion; May He remember all your offerings, And accept your burnt sacrifice. Selah.

May He grant you according to your heart's desire, And fulfill all your purpose. We will rejoice in your salvation, And in the name of our God we will set up our banners! May the LORD fulfill all your petitions. Now I know that the LORD saves His anointed; He will answer him form His holy heaven, With the saving strength of His right hand. Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the LORD our God. They have bowed down and fallen; But we have risen and stand upright. Save the LORD! May the King answer us when we call."

My heavy heart

It's funny how much I hated being here when we first moved up. I missed my family, my friends, my house, my life... The longer I looked back to what once was and what I felt like I was missing out on the greater the depression of being here grew. Being here has caused such tremendous growth in me, and has created a confidence that can only be attributed to the Lord. I have been strengthen by Him against doubt and defended in trials. He has also given me an opportunity to see sin for what it really is and how it wreaks people. I see and hear many things in this city that make my stomach churn and twist into knots. At first it repulsed me and I could only think of counting down to my escape. I wanted out so badly as so not to be sucked into this mess of the world, but I see it now with new eyes. For roughly the past 4 months I have feel so deeply for these people that I've gotten to know; and the thought of them perishing, left to linger and wallow in this world causes more knots in my stomach than the sight of their sins. I face new struggles of how to share with them the greatest truth they've never known. How to show them the Love of Christ  and help them understand what trusting in their lies will ultimately lead to. It sucks cause they are "good" people for the most part and I can see that they are longing for this peace but they are unwilling to follow Him because they think they know better. If only they understood how foolish this thinking is. If they had it all figured out wouldn't their lives reflect that? Wouldn't there be a deep soul satisfying joy in their hearts? And freedom where is the freedom they are so desperately fighting for? It's not there. My heart is heavy for them and I continue to lift them up in prayer because even though they can't see it, they are slaves to sin and they wear their chains like fine jewelry.

"The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul; the testimony of the LORD is sure making wise the simple; the statues of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure enlightening the eyes; the fear of the LORD is clean enduring forever; the judgements of the LORD are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, yea than much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. Moreover by them your servant is warned, and in in keeping them there is great reward."Psalm 19:7-11

Oh Lord that we would continue to pray for and witness to those who you have placed into our lives. Help us to share your love, your word, you lord with them. Father we have nothing to boast in but you and your grace, for you are the one who saves; not us earning it. Please Lord keep us humble and in step with your will never allowing us to get ahead of you or to fall behind. "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14
Amen

Where am I?

        I always feel so lost during the summer months. I think it's because I see a block of time that feels free ,but it is quickly filled with events and obligations and my summer aspirations are put on the back burner once again. But when autumn rolls around i am ready to plan and prepare. i feel time is expanded in the cooler months of the year. summer feels as if i am merely surviving and counting down to get through to the fall and winter. 

        In an effort to explain where i've been these past few months i come up short of expressing how God has been working in my heart. There has been maturing and softening. God is showing me where i have let things come between us, and is correcting false ideas i have about who He is and what it truly looks like to follow Him. I have a hunger for the word again and it is a relief to desire more after feeling so barren and dried out.

this summer has been one of constant changes and challenges where it feels like once we get a grip on one area of our lives something else changes and we are forced to adjust once again. i would like to say we are getting better at rolling with the punches, but i'm not convinced that is true. i do know this though, God has been gracious and good to us and even when we feel that we have all but lost hope we are given a wonderful answer from Him,

 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go" -Joshua 1:9