It's funny how much I hated being here when we first moved up. I missed my family, my friends, my house, my life... The longer I looked back to what once was and what I felt like I was missing out on the greater the depression of being here grew. Being here has caused such tremendous growth in me, and has created a confidence that can only be attributed to the Lord. I have been strengthen by Him against doubt and defended in trials. He has also given me an opportunity to see sin for what it really is and how it wreaks people. I see and hear many things in this city that make my stomach churn and twist into knots. At first it repulsed me and I could only think of counting down to my escape. I wanted out so badly as so not to be sucked into this mess of the world, but I see it now with new eyes. For roughly the past 4 months I have feel so deeply for these people that I've gotten to know; and the thought of them perishing, left to linger and wallow in this world causes more knots in my stomach than the sight of their sins. I face new struggles of how to share with them the greatest truth they've never known. How to show them the Love of Christ and help them understand what trusting in their lies will ultimately lead to. It sucks cause they are "good" people for the most part and I can see that they are longing for this peace but they are unwilling to follow Him because they think they know better. If only they understood how foolish this thinking is. If they had it all figured out wouldn't their lives reflect that? Wouldn't there be a deep soul satisfying joy in their hearts? And freedom where is the freedom they are so desperately fighting for? It's not there. My heart is heavy for them and I continue to lift them up in prayer because even though they can't see it, they are slaves to sin and they wear their chains like fine jewelry.
"The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul; the testimony of the LORD is sure making wise the simple; the statues of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure enlightening the eyes; the fear of the LORD is clean enduring forever; the judgements of the LORD are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, yea than much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. Moreover by them your servant is warned, and in in keeping them there is great reward."Psalm 19:7-11
Oh Lord that we would continue to pray for and witness to those who you have placed into our lives. Help us to share your love, your word, you lord with them. Father we have nothing to boast in but you and your grace, for you are the one who saves; not us earning it. Please Lord keep us humble and in step with your will never allowing us to get ahead of you or to fall behind. "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14
Amen
