i know it's been a while which i think is how i start most of these blog entries.
so we moved up here and we are almost settled only a few (million) boxes left but we are slowly working through them. it's hard once you unearth the essentials to keep going through the stuff you would be ok with leaving in a box for the next few hundred years if it meant not pushing their huge girth around for the 70th time so you could squeeze by. that is until you need something from one of them and you have to shift them around like a rubiks cube. but whatever it's fun having your own apt and choosing where to put stuff and walking around nude if you want to (as long as the blinds are closed lol)
work sucks but it is starting to look up. as you guys know i hate halloween and nobody does it better than knotts, but at least i'm getting paid :/
all this is to say that i'm trying to keep busy so i don't have to think about how much i miss all of you, because honestly i miss you guys like a porcupine misses hugs. i want to know what's going on with you guys, i miss your faces and i miss our talks.
more later time for bed
brr out
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
(not so) mini update
so today was pretty emotional.
we also found out that apt i had my heart set on was some how a lot smaller than we had remembered, and that they had rented out the cheaper one so it would end up costing us more for the shoebox.
since it was a million degrees we drove to the church and sat in the parking lot under a tree and cried, well i cried. and we just sat there for a while. we just kept saying "I don't get what God has for us. none of this makes sence"
so we got out of the car and sat on a grass hill under the tree and tried to figure
out what we were supposed to do. maybe we misunderstood Him . maybe He wanted us somewhere else. but we couldn't think of any thing. we prayed and still there was no huge revelation. so we went to the school building looking for the head guy to see if we could talk and pray with him.
he was out.
we meet with Doug instead . he looked super busy (he was preparing for the semester that is about to start in 2 weeks) so we told him the situation and how crappy it was looking and he didn't really have much to tell us. so we prayed and of course i cried then too.
it was tough.
so he calls in this other guy to see if he has any ideas and he tells us that now is about the time that Knotts would be hiring for the halloween time events. and he said we could use him as a ref. he worked there for like 11 years.
so tomorrow we are going to knotts to check it out. who knows this might be what God had us there for all along. we are remaining hopeful but gaurded. so keep us in your prayers.
we love you guys and will let you know how it turns out :)
we also found out that apt i had my heart set on was some how a lot smaller than we had remembered, and that they had rented out the cheaper one so it would end up costing us more for the shoebox.
since it was a million degrees we drove to the church and sat in the parking lot under a tree and cried, well i cried. and we just sat there for a while. we just kept saying "I don't get what God has for us. none of this makes sence"
so we got out of the car and sat on a grass hill under the tree and tried to figure
out what we were supposed to do. maybe we misunderstood Him . maybe He wanted us somewhere else. but we couldn't think of any thing. we prayed and still there was no huge revelation. so we went to the school building looking for the head guy to see if we could talk and pray with him.
he was out.
we meet with Doug instead . he looked super busy (he was preparing for the semester that is about to start in 2 weeks) so we told him the situation and how crappy it was looking and he didn't really have much to tell us. so we prayed and of course i cried then too.
it was tough.
so he calls in this other guy to see if he has any ideas and he tells us that now is about the time that Knotts would be hiring for the halloween time events. and he said we could use him as a ref. he worked there for like 11 years.
so tomorrow we are going to knotts to check it out. who knows this might be what God had us there for all along. we are remaining hopeful but gaurded. so keep us in your prayers.
we love you guys and will let you know how it turns out :)
little tidbits
it's crazy how lost you can feel even when you are in the same place you were the day before. Still at home, still sitting in my underwear on the couch, still without a job.
we got a call from the temp agency, that we had interviews with, letting us know that due to our lack of experience they would not be able to help us out in finding a job. I don't understand I AM QUALIFIED TO ANSWER PHONES, TAKE NOTES, AND TYPE DOCUMENTS!
It was very disheartening.
We really thought this was how God was going to provide for us and this would be our hook up. and now even though nothing has really changed i feel like we lost something huge.
i'm struggling with wanting to see how God works, in essence my flesh is longing for control again. I feel like we're stuck in this stupid painful gap where we're not really apart of the community here so i'm slowly cutting ties or lessening how much i commit of myself, but i have nothing to commit to on the other side.
You know when you are tired of trying to keep the search going? When every time you see people they want to know how things are going. you can't just break down so you put a positive light on it and use christian phrases like how God is stretching you in your faith and causing you to grow. Stretching hurts, especially if you haven't had to do it for a while.
God i'm not sure where the next step is, but I don't need to be sure of the next step I only need to be sure in you. You are all powerful and awesome. knowing you is all i need help my heart to let go of the anger and bitterness that crepes in when i am stressed. i long for the sweet peace of You and the truth and clarity that is in that moment. I know you love me and that you have a plan. thank you Lord for your goodness.
Hear my heart lord as I cry out to you
Hear my prayer lord and carry me thru
In your mercy in the promise you made
Be my strength lord when my strength fades away
Cos when I am weak your strength is complete
It's perfect
Completely all I need
Sufficient for me
Your grace and peace are perfect
Completely all I need
You're all that I need
In my weakness I'm finding your strength
In my sorrow a gentle embrace
Thru the seasons of laughter or pain
You are listening
When I call out your name
I'll find you when I seek
I'll look for you with all of my heart
And I'll find you when I'm weak
Cos you are strong
Hear my heart lord as I cry out to you
Hear my prayer lord and carry my thru
Carry me thru
we got a call from the temp agency, that we had interviews with, letting us know that due to our lack of experience they would not be able to help us out in finding a job. I don't understand I AM QUALIFIED TO ANSWER PHONES, TAKE NOTES, AND TYPE DOCUMENTS!
It was very disheartening.
We really thought this was how God was going to provide for us and this would be our hook up. and now even though nothing has really changed i feel like we lost something huge.
i'm struggling with wanting to see how God works, in essence my flesh is longing for control again. I feel like we're stuck in this stupid painful gap where we're not really apart of the community here so i'm slowly cutting ties or lessening how much i commit of myself, but i have nothing to commit to on the other side.
You know when you are tired of trying to keep the search going? When every time you see people they want to know how things are going. you can't just break down so you put a positive light on it and use christian phrases like how God is stretching you in your faith and causing you to grow. Stretching hurts, especially if you haven't had to do it for a while.
God i'm not sure where the next step is, but I don't need to be sure of the next step I only need to be sure in you. You are all powerful and awesome. knowing you is all i need help my heart to let go of the anger and bitterness that crepes in when i am stressed. i long for the sweet peace of You and the truth and clarity that is in that moment. I know you love me and that you have a plan. thank you Lord for your goodness.
Hear my heart lord as I cry out to you
Hear my prayer lord and carry me thru
In your mercy in the promise you made
Be my strength lord when my strength fades away
Cos when I am weak your strength is complete
It's perfect
Completely all I need
Sufficient for me
Your grace and peace are perfect
Completely all I need
You're all that I need
In my weakness I'm finding your strength
In my sorrow a gentle embrace
Thru the seasons of laughter or pain
You are listening
When I call out your name
I'll find you when I seek
I'll look for you with all of my heart
And I'll find you when I'm weak
Cos you are strong
Hear my heart lord as I cry out to you
Hear my prayer lord and carry my thru
Carry me thru
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