so i was reading over all the blogs i posted, all the way back to the stuff from when i started the blog, and i just see how god has changed me and where i am in my life now. i'm in the same situation as i was last year filling out yet another application to bible college and yet my reaction to this is very different. i am still nervous and yet it is not consuming me. i still and anxious about my new room mates ( supposing i get in) yet i know that we will be the people god has appointed to care for each other for the next 4 months. the issuse of health insurance has come up too but i know htis will all work out.
the main difference is that i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in control.
God is soo good, life is soo good.
yay!
ps i'm not on drugs i swear :D
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Please Don't Leave Before I Do
Aaron and I were driving in the car and he says" Donna, I don't want you to die before me"
I thought about that and I don't want to die after him, I can't imagine how hard life will be after we have lived together so long. I think about Heather's grandma who is living on her own getting by day by day, or Tiffany's G-ma who needs the support of Tif to get through one moment.
The heart break will be something I doubt I could ever fully express in words, and even now thinking about it makes the breath get caught in my chest.
I know it is very selfish of me to think this way. If me leaving second spared Aaron that pain then i would rather him go to see Jesus and wait till we can both be before the Lord. I pray that it will be a very long time before any of us have to think about this.
I thought about that and I don't want to die after him, I can't imagine how hard life will be after we have lived together so long. I think about Heather's grandma who is living on her own getting by day by day, or Tiffany's G-ma who needs the support of Tif to get through one moment.
The heart break will be something I doubt I could ever fully express in words, and even now thinking about it makes the breath get caught in my chest.
I know it is very selfish of me to think this way. If me leaving second spared Aaron that pain then i would rather him go to see Jesus and wait till we can both be before the Lord. I pray that it will be a very long time before any of us have to think about this.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Thoughts For Today
I was looking at pictures of us from England and the longer we were there the whiter we got... England sucks the color or colour right out of you.
That being said, I miss being there and the weather and the people and all sorts of different challenges. But I love that God is using me here and I am trying to keep my self open to that.
So instead of trying to learn all there is to being a pastors wife way before my time (not really possible till i am one) or trying to prepare myself for my life in ways that I am not even sure if God will take me. I need to stop grasping at straws and simply learn to love God more and learn how much He loves me.
This time not a learning of the mind, but rather of the heart. Recognizing all the simple things that delight me are from Him like the way the sky looks as the sun goes down, or catching that moment when a leaf falls. Or seeing a cup on top of some one's car stay there the whole journey.
The sin that is being reference here is the sin of unbelief in God. The passage also hits on the need for fellowship because in order to exhort one another or to be exhorted, you must be in relationships with other people. So if you are not in fellowship with other people, how easy then is it to stop believing? Not stop believing that God exists, but stop believing that His will for your life has any influence and weight in your ways.
Not sure yet why this was given/shown to me by God, but if you have any ideas throw them out there.
That being said, I miss being there and the weather and the people and all sorts of different challenges. But I love that God is using me here and I am trying to keep my self open to that.
Pear said to me the other day that in the end God will do great things in your life, but His end goal is to have a great relationship with you.
So instead of trying to learn all there is to being a pastors wife way before my time (not really possible till i am one) or trying to prepare myself for my life in ways that I am not even sure if God will take me. I need to stop grasping at straws and simply learn to love God more and learn how much He loves me.
This time not a learning of the mind, but rather of the heart. Recognizing all the simple things that delight me are from Him like the way the sky looks as the sun goes down, or catching that moment when a leaf falls. Or seeing a cup on top of some one's car stay there the whole journey.
i had a dream last night and some random person came up to me and said " the verse you are looking for, the one that you need, is Hebrews 3:13" i've never read this verse in my life and i just remembered the dream a moment ago, so i looked it up it says
"But encourage one another day after day, so long as it is still called "Today", so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin"
The sin that is being reference here is the sin of unbelief in God. The passage also hits on the need for fellowship because in order to exhort one another or to be exhorted, you must be in relationships with other people. So if you are not in fellowship with other people, how easy then is it to stop believing? Not stop believing that God exists, but stop believing that His will for your life has any influence and weight in your ways.
Not sure yet why this was given/shown to me by God, but if you have any ideas throw them out there.
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