it's crazy how lost you can feel even when you are in the same place you were the day before. Still at home, still sitting in my underwear on the couch, still without a job.
we got a call from the temp agency, that we had interviews with, letting us know that due to our lack of experience they would not be able to help us out in finding a job. I don't understand I AM QUALIFIED TO ANSWER PHONES, TAKE NOTES, AND TYPE DOCUMENTS!
It was very disheartening.
We really thought this was how God was going to provide for us and this would be our hook up. and now even though nothing has really changed i feel like we lost something huge.
i'm struggling with wanting to see how God works,
in essence my flesh is longing for control again. I feel like we're stuck in this stupid painful gap where we're not really apart of the community here so i'm slowly cutting ties or lessening how much i commit of myself, but i have nothing to commit to on the other side.
You know when you are tired of trying to keep the search going? When every time you see people they want to know how things are going. you can't just break down so you put a positive light on it and use christian phrases like how God is stretching you in your faith and causing you to grow.
Stretching hurts, especially if you haven't had to do it for a while.God i'm not sure where the next step is, but I don't need to be sure of the next step I only need to be sure in you. You are all powerful and awesome. knowing you is all i need help my heart to let go of the anger and bitterness that crepes in when i am stressed. i long for the sweet peace of You and the truth and clarity that is in that moment. I know you love me and that you have a plan. thank you Lord for your goodness.
Hear my heart lord as I cry out to you
Hear my prayer lord and carry me thru
In your mercy in the promise you made
Be my strength lord when my strength fades away
Cos when I am weak your strength is complete
It's perfect
Completely all I need
Sufficient for me
Your grace and peace are perfect
Completely all I need
You're all that I need
In my weakness I'm finding your strength
In my sorrow a gentle embrace
Thru the seasons of laughter or pain
You are listening
When I call out your name
I'll find you when I seek
I'll look for you with all of my heart
And I'll find you when I'm weak
Cos you are strong
Hear my heart lord as I cry out to you
Hear my prayer lord and carry my thru
Carry me thru