little tidbits

it's crazy how lost you can feel even when you are in the same place you were the day before. Still at home, still sitting in my underwear on the couch, still without a job.

we got a call from the temp agency, that we had interviews with, letting us know that due to our lack of experience they would not be able to help us out in finding a job. I don't understand I AM QUALIFIED TO ANSWER PHONES, TAKE NOTES, AND TYPE DOCUMENTS!

It was very disheartening.

We really thought this was how God was going to provide for us and this would be our hook up. and now even though nothing has really changed i feel like we lost something huge.

i'm struggling with wanting to see how God works, in essence my flesh is longing for control again. I feel like we're stuck in this stupid painful gap where we're not really apart of the community here so i'm slowly cutting ties or lessening how much i commit of myself, but i have nothing to commit to on the other side.


You know when you are tired of trying to keep the search going? When every time you see people they want to know how things are going. you can't just break down so you put a positive light on it and use christian phrases like how God is stretching you in your faith and causing you to grow. Stretching hurts, especially if you haven't had to do it for a while.

God i'm not sure where the next step is, but I don't need to be sure of the next step I only need to be sure in you. You are all powerful and awesome. knowing you is all i need help my heart to let go of the anger and bitterness that crepes in when i am stressed. i long for the sweet peace of You and the truth and clarity that is in that moment. I know you love me and that you have a plan. thank you Lord for your goodness.


Hear my heart lord as I cry out to you
Hear my prayer lord and carry me thru
In your mercy in the promise you made
Be my strength lord when my strength fades away

Cos when I am weak your strength is complete
It's perfect
Completely all I need
Sufficient for me
Your grace and peace are perfect
Completely all I need
You're all that I need

In my weakness I'm finding your strength
In my sorrow a gentle embrace
Thru the seasons of laughter or pain
You are listening
When I call out your name

I'll find you when I seek
I'll look for you with all of my heart
And I'll find you when I'm weak
Cos you are strong

Hear my heart lord as I cry out to you
Hear my prayer lord and carry my thru
Carry me thru

We Have Been to the Mecca

Aaron and I are up in Costa Mesa now looking for Apts and Jobs while we house sit for my cuz. we wanted to talk to some one from the school but they left for a missions trip today, monday. so in order to meet up with them we needed to got to a sunday church service. we went to the 7pm service and guess who was teaching... Chuck Smith himself!

it was a lil odd cause people clapped when he came up to start the service and there was really random music for worship before the sermon.
come to find out the music on sunday is always a toss up. so week to week it can be very different. the guy who was there last night was from some band in the 70's that first came to chuck when they were still meeting in the tent as hippies.they wanted to do music so he had them play a few songs and he knew right then that it was God working in this. so he put them on for the service that night and they became huge during the Jesus Movement.

So the Sermon was good but heavey. they are going through Rev and it was chapter 12 last night. you know when you are reading other stuff or you just had a conversation about something then you hear a sermon about it and how cool that is? it happend a couple of times last night and it was fun. i really enjoy thoes moments.

After the sermon we go down and wait to talk to one of the guys Aaron has been emailing but they are a bumch of people and pastors down there reciving people for prayer. there were around 20 guys down there and we have no idea what the one we are looking for looks like. then i see a dude with an ear piece in and i ask him if he works here and he tells me that he serves here so i ask him if he can tell us which of these guys is the one we're looking for. he doesn't really know but he says he'll find out for us. so we finally figure out which guy it is and while we're waiting we talk to this guy. his name is Matt. we talked about the service (that how we found out about the music stuff) and about looking for an apt. he said he would keep his ears open for us if he heard any thing about someone in the church looking to rent out a room or something.

so fianlly we talk to John the guy we been waiting for and he was very nice. he took us to the main officee and made us a copy of a local realtor who he has worked with before and she even has some apts across the street from the school where a lot of people stay. and his wife leades the wives club and so it was pretyt cool.
already we have seen a fresh and easy and and in n out so now i'm sure we can live here :)

we miss you guys!

please keep praying for us while we are here. that our time spent will be fruitful and that we will find something we can afford. we also are attempting to tackle employment. but above all else we want to be where God wants us and be examples of His love to others.

wedding pics

Aqui
here are some of the pics from the wedding i'll post more when i get a chance but until then enjoy!

great video

wedding stuff!

this is the look on my mom's face pretty much the whole day of their vow renewal. "I felt like I was in a big hug all day long"

how great of an example do i have with my parents? they have shown me what it means to work for your marriage, because after 25 years together it takes work. they have shown me how to love unconditionally and how to give each other respect that is needed. thank you God for blessing me with them and i know their years together will only get sweeter.

next thought

i feel very accomplished now that my family has survived this tsunami of insanity ( also known as house renovation coupled with my parents' renewal of vows for their 25th anniversary)
and everything else seems pretty easy in comparison, thus making me wonder if i'm fooling myself about the current status of the wedding. i believe however that things are going great and rather smoothly.
i'm surprised and how easy some things are that i worry about and put off and how insane it is to try and accomplish seemingly simple tasks. for instance i was terriffied to start birth control because i thought it would be a huge hassel to get everything figured out, all i had to do was make a few phone calls. where as trying to figure out what the guests would use to hold their jellybeans from the candy buffet was a pain in the tush for some unknown reason??!

any who i need to bake some cupcakes or there will be none for the big day. so for all you reading this know that i am excited and happy and i can't wait to see you guys in a very short time !!

are you kidding me?!

“Atheists, who might feel themselves a particular target with the declaration of a biblical year, aren’t even worried about Broun’s effort.
“Right now, we’re seeing atheism on such a rise,” said David Silverman, vice president and national spokesman of American Atheists, a group dedicated to fighting for the civil rights of atheists. We are seeing Christianity on such a dramatic decline that we’re not particularly worried about it. We’re thinking that this kind of old-style George W. Bush Republicanism is about to go away,” Silverman said, referring to the latest Pew Forum survey of American religious life, which showed nonreligious Americans as the fastest-growing group."

i read the quote above from this article and honestly the article is not that special but the quote its self is alarming.
i know this is not new to us that the world around us is looking bleak, but for me when i read this i felt like i got socked in the stomach. it was like satan was taunting me and rubbing in my face that there are more and more people choosing to turn away from God and pursue their own desires. "we're not particularly worried about it..." like their efforts are nothing more than a gnat. ok now here's the thing, i'm not really for or against this year of the bible thing, but his attitude that we are already defeated should cause alarm for us.
this has strengthen a resolve in me to pray for our country and the people that i come in contact with so that i may be prepared to speak the truth into their lives when i am called to.
your thoughts?

this might shock some of you.. but i hope not

i'm in this weird in between place in my life where i'm not having sex and i'm not really supposed to think about it but i'm getting married in 57 days. how can i not think about it? and then after the wedding a switch is supposed to go off in my head and be like ok let's sex each other up baby!

it's kinda confusing.

sometimes it makes me uncomfortable to think about being that close to some one and to be that open and revealed( both literally and figuratively) then other times i can hardly wait ( although i'm not entirely sure what i'm so excited for. i just know that everybody wants it so badly. in fact it can be the driving force behind many people's actions)

i guess i'm becoming more aware of this part of me and i'm not sure entirely what to think of it. i'm not even sure why i'm writing about it other than it's been rattling around in my mind.

that being said i need to finish up my hw for our pre married class.

Donna out.